The Difference

The difference between a "couple" and a "family" is one. 

One sweet pea to bring home.

One is the difference between being a wife and a mother. One is the difference between being a husband and a daddy. Oh how I'd love to change my title, our title.

...one more mouth to feed; one more reason to not sleep through the night; one more worry; one more responsibility. I know. ...but you can't change my heart.

My love and desire for a little one (our little one) laying on my chest, or curled up on my lap, overshadows any anxiety or worry about parenthood.

 When I think about becoming a little family of three, I think how lovely it would be to celebrate Christmas morning with our own family traditions. I think about all the things I'd like us to do...

Autumn walks, decorating pumpkins, and dressing up.  Snow angels, hot cocoa and 3 stockings hanging up.  Wagon rides and flower picking. Running around in the rain. Swinging and sliding and climbing, summertime popsicles and sprinkler fun.

Bedtime routines, tooth brushing, bath time, pajama dancing, reading, singing and late-night snuggles. Brushing hair off their forehead and kissing their soft cheeks and nose.

Watching their face as they learn something new or stand in amazement over something seemingly simplistic.

I think about how their daddy would dearly love them and hug them and teach them all sorts of things.

I think about how, if something happens to my love someday, I'll have a little piece of him -- maybe with his crazy hair and smiling eyes and sense of humor.

I really want to share something special. 

Just one, please, God.

A Sore Reminder

It's hard to see adorable pregnancy pictures, baby announcements, family photos, and gushing parent/grandparent stories of cuteness and sweetness and pride.

But It's harder to hear stories about girls having kids in high school, parents that abuse or neglect the kids that they never wanted to begin with, the system scammers that purposefully get pregnant as a means of maintaining government assistance or 'keeping up' with other family members. It's hard to hear about 'accidents' and babies born to single parents who wished things would have turned out differently.

It hurts because... while it obviously doesn't matter to some, it matters to me. 

---
It's hard to be in pain. Physical pain is like a magnifying glass for all (regularly bearable) emotional triggers.

It's that time of month... The physically exhausting and painful phase when bending, bumping, laughing, hugging, sneezing, sitting, laying, twisting... breathing... seems to hurt.  When normal activities, like reaching to get a glass from the top shelf of the cupboard or putting on pajama pants, make you hold your breath and close your eyes.  When no pose or posture takes away the ache.

Thank God these "phases" come with a break in between. I can't tell you how grateful I am that the pain usually doesn't last for days on end --like some of my friends who deal with excruciating pain and treatments on a daily basis.  At least in my case, the few days of 'ouch,' usually come and go pretty quickly.

By God's grace I managed to make it past moving month and past my 1st month at work before any significant hurt set in. God got me through the majority of my work day today without any unmanageable (or visible) signs or pain and I'm scheduled to have the day off tomorrow.  Thank you, God!

But I'm having a hard time today -- tonight -- this week.

First came "the fever".
My familiar friend.  Hoping, wishing and trying to wait patiently for my turn/our turn. Oogling over little ones, sweet families, adorable outfits. Making light of family hopes and "when we-s".

Then comes the pain.
The sore reminder of a vacant oven and (potentially) broken one. Always unexpected and never to be counted on. Always depressing. Always.

Today, instead of trying to cover a baby bump like so many of my friends, I try to stay comfortable and cover a swollen mid-section. I continue on with work, and chores, and social obligations, while so deeply wishing that God hadn't said no.  ...wishing that plans wouldn't change and efforts would count for something.

So today, I'm simply grateful that...

Even at my worst, in my hurt... God is still good, and I am still human. ...And He still loves His girl. 

..And that reminds me, once again, of how desperate I am for the kind of comfort only He can give. 

Had I But Known That Giving Up is Best

I've been racking my brain for weeks trying to think of something that I haven't already written about (in a passionate but not at all grammatically correct way) that won't make anyone fall asleep and that I actually know something about. Tough, right?

I went through my regular list of "coulda, shoulda, wouldas" (to no avail) and ended up recounting my "expertise" in the areas of southern style sweet tea and attempting to control everything -ever. After amusing myself with significantly snarky "Had I but known" titles, a familiar tune can on my Pandora station.  Ingrid Michaelson's song, Giving Up, which brought me some much needed inspiration.

The very first time I heard this song, I wasn't quite sure what to think. I couldn't understand how a song about giving up could possibly be a love song. But after listening to it on repeat for about an hour, I realized that the song is a.) incredibly catchy and b.) isn't about giving up on someone at all, it's about giving up for them.

Let me explain...

Pop on over to www.annaurquhart.com (The Silent Isle) to see more of this article and other incredibly witty and wise posts from a sweet friend, Anna, and some of her amazing colleagues and friends! I'm so honored to be involved in this great series with wonderful writers (unlike me)  ;) Thank you, Anna.  You are lovely.

What Heaven Looks Like

I have a slight "obsession" (lets say) with sunshine through the clouds. One of my most favorite things about creation is how absolutely breathtaking the sunshine can be when peeking through the clouds.  --  I think to myself, every single time, “I bet this is what heaven looks like.”

Last night while walking with my husband, after eating an oreo mcflurry of deliciousness, Jed drew my attention to the gorgeousness behind us as we were walking down the beach towards our house.  

We stopped on a dune to try and capture the loveliness in pictures and enjoy it before the sun became faint.  I remember briefly thinking, "Wow, I never notice how wonderful the sunshine is until it's beaming through dark clouds."  

--and it hit me --  isn't that so true? 

I felt so content in that moment, so joyful and so grateful for this "little" gift. God knows how much I adore sunrise and sunset.  

That little 'glimpse of heaven' makes my heart feel light and hopeful, even when my emotions are running wild – even through tough times and disappointments. When I see something like this, I want to praise God for how incredible He is.  How could that kind of beauty be an accident? 

And it reminds me, every time, how much I am loved, how beautiful our God is and how excited I am to, one day, be in the most breath-taking place with my Savior. 

--If that moment had a soundtrack, this song would be playing.  

How Great is Our God -Chris Tomlin

Seeing the Shore

I came across this today while looking for some music to lift my spirits. (It's worth watching)  :)



My heart has been so heavy (over the past several weeks) for some of my closest friends. It's been difficult  to watch people I love so deeply struggle so much.

I know that I haven't been the best encourager as I've recently felt it difficult to hold my own head above water.

My encouragement attemps usually consist of hugging, listening, nodding and  attempting to interject something of value.  Something like, " just keep swimming"... "I know this is not easy and honestly, it may not get much easier... but it's going to be worth it."

I often feel like a broken record when attempting to communicate something meaningful- since most of my days are spent trying to convince myself of the same 'meaningful' thing.

When bad things happen, when I'm anxious, and tired, and want to knock someone's block off...
When things are unclear and I can't see past the thick fog... I just keep telling myself:

Pray, Pray, Pray.
-Ask for anxieties to be calmed.
-Ask the Lord for wisdom and for encouragment.
-Ask for joy.
-Ask for protection and provision.
-Ask for peace that passes my own understanding.
-Ask for grace.
-Ask for clarity.
-Ask for a thankful heart.

Knock on doors.
Wait to see if they will open and see what happens next.
-That's really all we can do, right?

Rest.
Regroup.
Refill.
Take some time to be quiet, spend time with God and spend time relaxing or having fun with 'comfortable' people who uplift and encourage.

Oh, and...
Sing a peppy song.
They always help to make this heavy heart feel a bit lighter.



It's so incredibly difficult in times of high anxiety and uncertainty to find a true sense of peace and joy.
...and I think that this phase of life in particular tends to make everything a bit "foggy".

It's hard to see the shore. It's hard to trust in the end result.  It's hard to keep going despite feeling so far from home, so far from certainty and comfort, and so exhausted from pressing forward.
But we do.

And God is pleased.

That is success.  Simply making it to the shore.   -Whether swimming, floating, boating or nearly drowing on the way.

We pray through it, work through it and we do our very best.

Well Done- Moriah Peters

Letting Go and Letting God

Lord, I Need You

Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay

--An excellent and powerful reminder for days when you feel like praising
... and for days when your heart feels like a concrete in your chest.

All you can do is release control, aknowledge God's goodness, grace, power, and protection
...pray for peace and wisdom, and consistently remind your mind to have Faith in the Lord's promises.

I often need a daily reminder to release control.
Songs of praise and surrender have this incredible way of calming my anxiety and chipping away at the heavy heart within me.

I hope this song can be the song of your heart today (and everyday) too.
<3

Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home 

Living Room

The Couch Cushions are a bit 'squiggly' ... and my rainboots are in the entryway  but hey, a girl's got to have access to her rainboots, right?!

Entryway and Hall

Our Wedding 'Guest Book' - Love it.

Dining room- Yes there is a computer on my kitchen counter. 

Happy little office-  lots of light near the window.

Kitchen- where I stuff my face regularly.

Piggy- the only kind I'm allowed to have.  He's very happy.  

Master Bedroom-  Where sometimes Jed tries to make the bed over me in the morning. 

Make-up Station- glorious, no?

Guest Bathroom-

Guest Bedroom/Office/"Storage of Random Stuff Room"-  

Cutiful Bookshelf in Guest Room- filled with memorable things

 

Well, that's our place :)
 I think it's pretty cute...
especially now that our 2nd bedroom actually has a purpose, beyond storing boxes and bags and random junk that hadn't found a home yet.

Thanks for stopping by <3

It's Sunshine Award Season

The always lovely, always humorous and always interesting, Anna at The Silent Isle was sweet enough to include me in her nominations for the Sunshine Award!

“The Sunshine Award is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers. The receivers of the Sunshine Award are bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogsphere.”

I love this little guy! He makes me smile. ^  I have to admit...  I'm amazed that, despite my gramatical errors and consistent misuse of all sorts of punctuation, I still somehow managed to make the list. ;)  Thanks, Anna!  

Oh, but with that... *insert curtsey and cliche two-handed trophy shake* ...there's a catch. The award requires that I tell 7 facts about myself and then nominate 7 others! Ooooooh I'm so excited!

The question is- What don't you already know about me?

Well...

I figure I'll start where I'm most familier...   food! ;)

1. I absolutely LOVE strawberry shortcake...  and I don't mean the silly little cartoon girl,  I'm taking about the deliriously deliciousness kind.  I'm not sure if it's the strawberries I love, or just the mountains of whip-cream that I eat while preparing said dessert, but my mouth is watering right now just thinking about it! 

2. I'm loving the show White Collar! Less because of the plot and more because of the suave suits that character, Neal Caffrey wears, I'm just sayin'...he's not too bad to look at.  ;)

3. Despite being "known" as a relatively put-together and somewhat stylish woman... I seriously hate getting ready everyday.  Mornings are the bane of my existence, which tends to put a damper on my daily routine. ;)  

Along with morning issues, I hate having to do my hair on a daily basis. I mean really. It's not going to do what I want to... plus, by not doing it,  I could avoid arm cramps from blowdrying and 2nd degree burns from my flat-iron of doom!  Oh... and lets not get started on clothes fitting properly.  Why do I buy these things, seriously.   ha!

4.  Let's see... most of you probably knows this one - but I'm going to say it anyway...

I love Autumn! Seriously. It always carries the best colors, the prettiest views and crisp-est air.  I always find my favorite clothes in the fall and I love all the lead up to the hoiday season.  I mean really... between allergies, frozen toes and sticky summer skin, I could do away with other seasons, I think.  

Oh, oh, and "autumn" candle scents almost never smell like weeds or cinnamon crazy or pine trees  -like other seasons do.   Autumn smells typically revolve around harvest and thanksgiving- which means food- which means caramel and cake and brulee and pie and warm cookies- which means this girl is a very happy one!

5.  If I could have a lifetime supply of something I think it might be new white socks. How glorious would it be to have your piggies in brand new socks each time you put on sneakers?! They won't stretch out, they won't get holes, you won't have to have a sock hunt in your laundry basket or washing machine AND they'll always be just as soft and squishy as ever! ahhh!

6. I'm slightly obsessive- complusive. I simply can not leave my house without straightening up the couch and living room first.  I have to straighten the pillows, shift the cushions, fold the throw blanket or lay it in a perfect way and put away anything that doesn't 'belong' in the living room away before walking out that front door.

Truly, If I don't straighten everything up, I feel angsty and uneasy. Kind of like feeling you get when you know you've forgotten something important, like the stove is on and could burn down your house -except I feel like that if my couch has a wrinkle. Utterly ridiculous, I know.   

Also, I often write notes or lists over and over and over again until I 'feel' as though my handwriting is uniform and everything is in logical order. The computer saves me a lot of time and aggrivation. 

7. you probably know this too... but I truly think that piglets are the cutest animals on the planet- right next to baby elephants.  Seriously... the way they prance around adn snort and those ugly little noses make them oooh so adorable!  I die. Everytime. My typical response to seeing a picture or video... tears. 

 See, I'm tearing up right now!

And now, without further ado…

I follow quite a few fantastic blogs that I obviously find inspirational or hysterical (I love those kind) but since I'm limited to just 7... I thought I would pick a few ‘seasoned’ bloggers and some 'diamonds in the rough' that may be a bit newer to the blogsphere... but incredible nonetheless! 

You should follow their journeys too as they encourage others, speak truth into lives, get a little crafty and well... just make us laugh! <3

 Sarah at Life and Grace

Whitney at Navybeans 

Sarah at Sarah Sane and Tall

April at Chronically Hopeful 

Lauren at Traded Dreams

Jess at Get Busy Living

Darla at My Crazy Life

Hope

Tomorrow marks 1 year since Baby's heavenly birthday.

and I just can't stop myself from thinking...

what if  things were different.

what if this extra room held a crib and a dresser filled with baby things  -little onesies, tiny socks, baby shoes, blankets, books, and sweaters with ears

what if the nursery could be filled with sweet little things picked especially for our little one

what if I knew I had a handsome boy or beautiful girl

what if they had a meaningful name that we both loved so much

what if my days were filled with diaper changes, feedings and coos

what if things weren't so quiet here

what if I could read a book and sing a soft lullaby before bed

what if, when I couldn't sleep, I could sneak into the nursery and just watch my little love sleep.

...

Those are just some of the things I miss and I miss them all the time.

I know I can't permanently live in the "what ifs" of life...
but just for today, I'm going to admit how often that little phrase crosses my mind and how often that Baby crosses my mind.

It may not seem like much... but for a little while last year, despite fear and disbelief, I knew that my dream of being a mom would soon come true, and that little Hope rooted quickly in my heart.

So today I think about Hope ...and Thank God for that brief joy of motherhood and the promise of life beyond this earth.

Here It Goes Again

I haven’t had the words (or the internet connection) in recent days to explain what’s been happening… ha!  But here’s what’s been going on…

It’s been nearly a week since packing up our little cottage and moving to our (2 bedroom) apartment in the other side of town. Yay! It’s exciting to have extra space and the opportunity and flexibility to now be home during daytime hours… but it’s also quite different from the life I’ve become accustomed to over the last couple of years.

Last Friday night (Dave, Teresa, Jed and I) packed up our little cottage into laundry baskets and bags and loaded up a yellow Penske truck (courtesy of my parents) with furniture and household items and prepared for a rainy Saturday move.  Jed and I stayed at Dave and Teresa’s for the night, signed our lease Saturday morning, and after an angsty meltdown (on my part) we waited for the rain to subside a bit before venturing back to the apartment to unload.  Sarah and Teresa met me at our new place to help ready everything so we could start moving everything in. Sarah brought sustenance and we all grabbed cleaning supplies …and after a sweet prayer (which I desperately needed) we began to clean, line cabinets and direct traffic. 

It ended up going so quickly, I think. Thank God for amazing helpers.  They did most of the work, I think. Dave and Jed did most of the moving with some help from the Jones’ (which was so nice!)  …Meanwhile I basically stood around in a funk, just staring at everything that needed to be accomplished, completely and utterly overwhelmed. I would start doing something and stop after a couple of seconds because I got my brain stuck on something else.

I’m really glad we broke up our packing and transport with a decent night’s sleep.   Everything went so quickly!  It’s so nice to have an extra room and extra space! If I didn’t know where to put it, it just went in the guest room and I closed the door! ,,,Out of sight and out of mind. Well, sort-of. Nothing seems to be ‘out of my mind’ for very long. 

…

I have to admit though, despite our very smooth move and speedy set-up, I’m still scared senseless regarding the unknown in the coming months.  This new adventure we’ve signed up for is a bit more than I can handle at the moment. 

This is my last day at Juvenile Court, until…  well, I have absolutely no idea.  It’s unnerving to think that this could be the end of an entire chapter of my career!!! We just finished unpacking and just packed for a week long vacation again last night. Hooray!!!  With that in mind... here's some peppy 'road trip' style music for your listening pleasure...  ;)   Here It Goes Again

...And when I get back, the fun of learning a new job begins and my last paycheck rolls in! (in Oprah’s voice)  It’s BUDGET time!!!  I’m not gonna lie, It’s scary to lose an entire income.  Mind you, we chose this cut… and I’m incredibly grateful for that!  I’ve been praying that God provides opportunities for us to make some additional income so we won’t be quite so strapped to the very tight budget we have set for ourselves.  I’m hoping, and knowing, that things will fall into place just as they are supposed to (at the right time with finances) just as they did with the move and job change. 

This adventure seems a bit more like a marathon at the moment though.  So for now, at least, I still feel like I did this past weekend…  just standing around, staring at stuff, not knowing what to do next.  I feel like my brain can’t catch up this week.

Transitions seem to make me this way. Zombie Lauren. I feel super busy and bored at the exact same time. I feel disconnected from everyone because of moving to the other side of town but I also feel disconnected because I know that I desperately need some space and quiet to settle myself down. The problem is, I’m craving normalcy too, which includes church and socializing and grocery shopping and work… all of which have been ‘off kilter’ in the last couple of weeks and will be for another week or two.

Friends, please pray me through.  I have a terrible tendency to be very irritable when new things are happening. My control-freak nature definitely rears it’s ugly head and my perfectionism won’t allow me to rest my mind at all until everything is in it’s place and planned out.  …Problem!

My heart has been hurting a bit though too because, despite our wonderful extra room, I can’t help but feel as though (or wish- I guess) that we had a special little 4 month old to have in there …and it makes anxious to look at that space sometimes.  It feels empty yet cluttered with junk. I’m really am trying not to dwell on the "maybes" and "what-ifs" but alas-- I can’t get it off my mind.  And I can’t seem to say it without feeling stupid for continuing to have baby on the brain.

I am hopeful, however and I am excited for God to continue planning this adventure of ours.  Who knows, maybe in the next year or so we will be able to fill that ‘empty space’.  ;)  I can still hope, can’t I?!  But for now, a guest room and office would be super nice!  YAY!  Room for visitors!  I’m so excited!

I’m so grateful for everyone who’s been so supportive and helpful and given of their time and energy and money to help us get moved and settled in.  I can’t imagine trying to do it alone. Thank you so much!  I love you and am so grateful for you!  …and I’m so excited about what this new chapter could mean for us!

Please don’t be offended if I don’t take you up on your lovely offers to help at the moment. Frankly I don’t even know where to begin, really, but I’m hoping to have a better idea of what we need and of my schedule in the next couple of weeks. 

<3 Thanks for checking in on us,

Love, 
Lauren 

Matthew 21:21

And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith, and do not doubt, you shall not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it shall happen.

Change

Change. 

I honestly don’t know.  

Actually...

No.  I'm not ever ready for change. 

I'm not going to lie.  I'm freaking out inside! 

Am I ready to move on Saturday?! yes and no. I feel tense and my stomach is in knots just thinking of all the possibilities for trouble.  

I feel as though things are a bit awkward at the office right now  (which is understandable when one only has 2 weeks left).  

I’m nervous about leaving my job and becoming "bored" in my new situation.  (Which I know sounds ridiculous- I will still be working... but it's going to look and be so much different and "boredom" is a legitimate fear of mine.)  

I'm also scared of new anything. period. 

I’m worried about finances and frankly (selfishly)- I’m a bit freaked out about potentially not having the funds to escape for date nights or girls nights etc... which I've been able to do in recent months.  It's been such a huge blessing to be able to hang out and have pleasant communications (on a whim) and after spending the majority of my days with potty-mouths and angsty-pants over the phone. 

All that to say... 

I guess I'm about as "ready" as I'll ever be.   My 'gut' says that moving and a job change is best right now. God has lined everything up to work out as smoothly as possible, so I can't, in good conscience, conclude that my anxiousness is anything other than fear. 

...So I've been praying these words over and over today.   

I keep praying (requesting) that God's will be done in everything that we choose right now, that God would calm my nerves, and orchestrate the final pieces of the puzzle that would help this planner feel a bit better about all the new that's about to happen. 

...and I keep thinking of what God would say if He was trying to ease my fears.

I think He would hold the sides of my shoulders firmly (yet gently),  look me straight in the eye and say something like...

...then He would pull me in close and hug me tightly (just like my Dad would).

 He'd hold me for a second, take a deep breath and then crack a silly joke to make me smile...

... and pull me back in for another firm hug.  I'd use the shoulder of his dad-shirt as a tissue and then I'd feel...  better. 

I have faith that God will provide the means necessary to make this work as well as the  strength and discipline to be alright. 

  

My fears don't come from lack of trust in God's abilities but rather a lack of trust in my own.  (Which, I must say, is probably a very good thing.)

*I mean,  If I was left to my own devices, I'd probably be 800 pounds due to sweet-tea and chocolate chip pancake intake. I would have racked up the national debt in new blouses and I would be spending all my 'free' time at Disney World. - I'm just sayin'.  

... So it's probably best that I don't trust my spontaneous wants all the time.  I know that God would not approve of my financially irresponsible, gluttonous and vain habits. 

We've prayed and consulted, crunched numbers and re-evaluated our goals.

But the question remains:

Are we really willing to risk our comfort and our obvious security in order to follow His direction?  Am I really willing?

Sometimes change (as scary and risky as it may be) is a step towards hope... a step in the right direction. 

Faith.  

Sometimes faith means being still and waiting.  Sometimes faith is risk-taking. 

Faith is always trusting in God's provision and plan (whether waiting or doing).  

Even when we fail, there may be consequences... but God is bigger than all the wrong we are capable of.  We aren't beyond redemption. We aren't beyond repair.   I'm not beyond repair.  As long as we seek Him, he promises that he will direct our paths. 

Will it look the way we originally expected? Maybe not. 

Will we still be okay?  Yes.  

Our God is loving and gracious and merciful. 

I'm praying desperately that God is very merciful with me during these times of adjustment.  Because if I know anything about myself,  I know that I have a really hard time with new things.  

So I'm praying now... before the new begins... that He will give me a thankful and joyful heart and a very flexible attitude.  

I know good things are happening and I'm so excited to see what He has in store for us in the coming months!

Ms. Potty Mouth

My Delightful Caller of the Day Award goes to... 

Ms. Potty Mouth

Me- Ma’am, as I’ve told you, we (the clerks) can’t remove your address from this file.  I can, however, put a note in the file so that the next time this person comes to court, the Judge can address the issue with them.

Her- Put yourself in my shoes.   awkward silence

Me- I understand that you don’t want... 

Her- So what you’re telling me is that you don’t give a s*** that I’m humiliated. 

Me- No, that’s not what I told you. I’m simply saying that there is only so much I’m allowed to do.   Our only procedure is…

Her- Well if I get an attorney and sue the city for… mumbling

Me- Ma’am, you are welcome to seek legal counsel.

Her- F*** You B***!!!!

Me- Alright, you too.

10 minutes later

Me: Good Afternoon, Juvenile Court…

Her: mumbling   ...S*** it’s her again.  click.

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job…

At least it keeps me entertained, right?

Never a dull moment at Juvenile Court.

Thankful

100 things I'm Thankful for.... 

(just to name a few...and in no particular order...)

1.     My Jed. He is wonderful and loving, romantic, manly, kind, genuine, playful, hysterical, sweet, tough, honest, gracious, strong, committed, motivated, intelligent… I could go on.
2.     Jed’s health and emotional, mental and spiritual well-being.
3.     The love of our families.
4.     Amazing friends.
5.     The health and well-being of our family and friends (physically, financially, spiritually etc…)
6.     The cottage and financial assistance from the Riekes.
7.     Jed’s job.  (He makes most of the income.  His boss is wonderful and he loves what his organization stands for.)
8.     My job.  (I have great benefits. I’ve had the ability to take time off work… even as a “new” employee… to tend to health and family priorities. I have kind, intelligent, “motherly” managers that have given me the encouragement I desperately needed after my last position.)
9.     Church family.
10. Running water.
11. Hot water for cooking and cleaning.
12. Cleaning products.
13. Air conditioning and heat.
14. Electric.
15. A fridge full of food.
16. The ability to go grocery shopping, pick food, prepare food, keep it preserved and use it later.
17. Restaurants (when we are busy or need a break).
18. A closet full of clothing (nice clothing, at that).
19. Warm coats
20. Scarves
21. Lip balm
22. Make-up in general. (so I can put my…. “best face forward”  ;)--)
23. The ability to walk and see …and take care of myself on a daily basis.
24. Bug spray.
25. Paper towels.
26. Sweet tea!  Hallelujah!
27. A nice open living room and kitchen so we can still ‘entertain’ in our little space.
28. Toothpaste and toothbrushes.
29. Our healthy Yaris. (despite some cleanliness issues ;)  …she’s pretty fabulous.)
30. Our Accord. (He’s good on gas and gets where he needs to go.)
31.  The identity group
32. Our non-concrete kitchen flooring. Praise, God. I doesn’t drive me insane everyday.
33.  A new (ginormous) tv.
34. Soft and snuggly throw blankets.
35. Clothes hangers.  I love non-wrinkled clothing.
36. My hair dryer, straightening iron and curling iron.
37. Bobby-pins and hair ties
38. The ability to look up questions on the internet.
39. Remote controls.
40. Locks on the house and car and office.
41.  Interesting articles (so I can learn).
42. Paychecks. WOOOOO!
43. Health insurance.
44. A good family doctor and a couple of good specialists (Dr. Saadeh in particular) who are willing to listen to me, work with me and save me time off work and money in little ways.
45. Pinterest. (so I can escape from work and emotion and just browse)
46.  All kinds of food. Sprinkle donuts. Burritos. Pizza bites.  Mac and Cheese. Mashed potatoes. Stir-fry veggies. Dark chocolate covered pretzels and cherries. Frosted flakes. Mini-Wheats. Perogies. Homemade stuffing. Apples. Chinese food in general.
47. Chai tea lattes. Caramel Lattes. Tea. Orange Juice. Apple Cider.
48.  Our rice cooker.
49.  The feel of new socks.
50. The soft glow and warm scent of candles.
51. Comfy couches.
52. Medicine to help the body function correctly.
53. Medicine to help take away pain.
54.  Warm showers.
55. Indoor plumbing.
56.  Fuzzy rugs.
57. A stocked food pantry.
58. Glasses to drink from.
59.  Pretty gift-wrapping materials.
60. Christmas ornaments and lights.
61. Our porch swing.
62. The plant on our porch that Teresa takes care of.
63. Visits from Daisy.
64. The lawn that’s taken care of by Dave.
65. Thursday night dinners and chat time.
66. Super fun rain boots.
67. A purse to tote all my stuff around in.
68. A calendar to keep me organized.
69. Nail polish to make me feel… ‘polished’
70. Hard times to keep me grounded and realistic.
71. The ability to understand things and connect with people.
72. Warm slippers.
73. Other medicine flavors other than grape!
74. Yoga pants.
75. Jammies.
76. Non-stick cookware.
77. Fluffy bed comforters.
78.  Cell phone with internet and texting.
79.  MUSIC.
80. The ability to sing.
81.  Fellowship with family, friends and church friends.
82.  Movies and tv shows to ‘escape’ into.
83.  Funny incidents and stories to tell.
84. Inside jokes and ‘mental images’ that always make me snicker.
85. Strong hugs.
86. Soft kisses from my man.
87. Board games and icebreakers.
88.  A grill.
89.  Safety during travel.
90.  Sunshine and cool breezes.
91. Autumn leaves.  That proves there is so much beauty in life and in death.
92. Falling snow.
93. Perfume, cologne, lotion.
94. Soft pillows.
95. Sunglasses.
96. Spontaneous dance parties with best friends.
97. Windy roads (they are so fun to drive on).
98. The ability to smell lovely and delicious things.
99. The ability to make others smile or feel special

100. A God that knows me so well and loves me so much.