Little Notes for Little Eli -Part 6

6/15
Eli,

We worked on your nursery today! You have lots of little books and a sweet elephant lamp (thanks Nana!).  We got you a sound machine so you won't wake when Daddy and I are moseying around the house at bedtime. We bought you a slender little book case and bins for your bedtime stuff and middle of the night quick-change items.

You have such cute decorations too! The little pennants were made by your Aunt Sarah. Granny (and Grammy) made those little felt elephants and we (you and me and daddy) put the little elephant mobile together and hung it up. Your Nana got that perfect nightlight elephant on your book shelf and Your Papa and Mama hung up the shelf that has decorations on it too! 

It's small, but it's home. I think you'll be happy to sprawl out, even in your mini crib after doing 9 months on the inside ;)  I love it and I hope you will too.

Can't wait to bring you home,
Mommy

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6/17

 27 weeks today, Little Guy.  Grow, Baby, Grow!

Chocolate milk and hot cocoa make us very happy before bed!  Also, we did a some of your little laundries today. Every time I see your little outfits and blankets, I just can't help feeling overwhelmed with excitement!  I can't wait to snuggle you!

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6/21
Hungry Man,

We. Love. Macaroni.  I can't say this is a "new" craving ... I've kinda loved mac & cheese since, well, forever.  However the amount of effort I have been willing to exert in order to make mac and cheese says a lot about our desires recently.

No boxed option?  No problem.

Elbow noodles... cheddar cheese... noodles boiling... oven baking... 30 minutes wait time.
-- WILL DO!-- as long as we can eat a ton of it!  It had better be worth our while ;) For whatever reason, it's one of the few things that doesn't seem to make us feel nauseous at the moment.

Hooray for food,
Mom 
 
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6/24

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6/26
Little One,

Here we are at work. It thought it was funny when I put on this on and you were basically covered!  I'm not typically this "thick" in my midsection but it was kinda fun feeling like I wasn't smuggling a volley ball for a brief moment.

This turned out to be a really rough day at work though. Everything was calm until the last 2 hours of the day when everyone in Virginia Beach decided to show up at the apartment. Feast or famine, you know?!  I ended up walking the property 3 times in a row, showing apartments at different sides of the community and climbing several flights of stairs with each prospect. I had a spur-of-the-moment re-show, an application and security deposit to work on, another rental to enter into the database, files to quickly shove together, notes to leave for my co-workers, multiple cash sheets and checks and deposit tickets to add up and put together, phones to forward, a clubhouse to close up and end of day reports to remember to print.  I didn't get to leave work until almost 7:30 (I should leave at 6) and still had to make the drop at the corporate office.

...Needless to say, after exerting so much effort and attempting to maintain professionalism and "spunk" through the end of the day,  Momma had a bit of a breakdown once I left the office. I cried all the way home. Then I cried into my Pedialyte at home for a good long while too. lol

My body really doesn't do well when walking or standing around normally nowadays, let alone walking around outside in the heat with no water break and no resting for almost 2 hours straight. It doesn't sound so bad, I know ... but believe me, in light of our recently altered routines, it was a pretty taxing evening.  I think you were annoyed as well. You kept kicking and kicking -- which didn't help my overly sensitive insides to calm down. Crazy kid.  It is taking a long time to get my body to settle down tonight though. Hopefully the next entry won't include a visit to labor and delivery again.

I'm sure you will eventually witness the ridiculousness that is hormones and exhaustion from your Momma one day and you'll look at me like I'm a nut-case. But do me a favor and just hug me, okay?

Love you to pieces,
Mom

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6/28
Eli,

You have a new little cousin!
(Actually ... I guess you'll be the littlest cousin soon) Hooray, Joci is finally here!!!

We went swimming with Aunt Sarah and Mama on Friday, something we've been wanting to do for a while. It was incredibly nice to cool off in the water and feel no pressure on my body for a little while -- and feel the difference between pregnancy aches and actual pains. I'm sure it was especially nice for Sarah! After all, Joci was getting ready to make her big debut! Around 4 am this morning, we heard it was officially Joci's Birthday!!!

A little bit before we got the happy news from Josh and Sarah, I woke up with some pretty sharp pains (that reminded me of the kinds of pains I had before you and I were together). Those pains in on top of a few days of contractions and discomfort, I thought it was probably best to finally stop second guessing and head to the hospital to be checked out.

You, Sir, were as active as ever and your heart was beating strong. :) This time around contractions were there but not regular like last time! And luckily, no 'progress' was made and we credited the sharp pains to a ruptured cyst and went on our way. We have another appointment in just a few days, so we will see how everything goes then too. I'm beginning to wonder if my work schedule may have to change a little in order to keep me in the best shape to carry you. We will see.

***
In other AWESOME news:

We got to meet sweet Joci this morning!  She's so adorable and she has such chunky little cheeks. I just wanted to kiss them over and over again.

So many things went through my mind while holding her and loving on her. -- Like wanting to squeeze her so tight and tell her how loved she is. I got to hold Evie-girl but, given the timing and emotions surrounding everything, I didn't really let myself fully embrace her ... and it's something my heart regrets. Frankly I just didn't really know how to feel at the time.  It was so 'easy' to feel joyful and thankful while pressing my cheek against Joci's.  I cried a couple of times. I typically try to keep my emotions to myself... so that was kind of new for me. I just love those girls. <3

Holding that new little life also made me excited and so nervous about meeting you, little man.  Seeing her adorable head full of hair made me think even more about what you might look like.  The anticipation of meeting you is almost too much to bear! Truly, I can't imagine what you'll look like although I'm sure you'll look a lot like your dad and I'm sure that I'll think you are the most handsome kid on the whole entire planet. 

Holding that little pink bundle of fluff made me feel all ooey-gooey inside. (Like when I was a little girl holding my brand new baby sister for the first time).  I can only imagine how amazing it will be to finally hold you in my arms and kiss your little cheeks and hear your newborn sighs and finally have a face to put with the punches and kicks I've fallen in love with.

I can only imagine how scary it will be to also know that you are all mine (and Daddy's). --That we are completely responsible for you. Considering that I have a hard time keeping plants alive, I am a bit fearful of my feeding and parenting skills.  I'm not going to lie.  But we are going to wrap you up and take you home and you are going to wrap us around your little finger.  Our marriage, our family, our lives, will change forever.  For the better, my little love. <3

It was so wonderful having family gathered around celebrating together.  It's not something I've appreciated all that much until now, I have to admit.  I've tended to like my privacy and I've often distanced myself from potentially complicated or emotional situations (especially involving family). But I'm hopeful that when you come into this world, you will feel the love of your Daddy and I -- and so many wonderful people that we get to call family.  You are going to love having cousins that are close to your age and loving grandparents and Aunts and Uncles.  Believe me!

And, last but not least, it's incredible what new life does for your spirit. It's such an amazing thing to look at ten perfect little fingers and soft baby skin and realize that God make this precious, pint-sized, human in only 9 months.  It's just ... extraordinary!

Well, I guess that about sums up this particular installment of "The Mind of your Mother".  I love you Eli.  I can't say it enough.  Don't you ever forget it!

<3
Mom
  
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7/1

I believe I've discovered the secret to our most resent bout with nausea.  ...Not having contractions.  When I don't feel terrible and my stomach doesn't feel like it's literally tied in knots, I actually want to feed us.  

When we are up for eating, we have been craving baked mac and cheese, pizza, reuben sandwiches and wonton soup and ...brownies.  When we can eat, we definitely do eat! :) 

Also, wow!  You are getting very strong little man! I'm pretty sure you have bruised my insides with all of your jabs and kicks. You seem to like to hang out in the same spot most of the time and you seem to have a pretty solid pattern going ... one super exercise day and then one day of mostly resting.

I think you wear yourself out and have to take a day to recuperate from all of your adventures! Anyway, maybe you and daddy can work out together (flutter kicks and punches) soon.  I have no doubt that you'll be great at them!

...and here we are at bedtime :) Your Aunt Sarah made you that adorable little onsie with a bowtie!  So cute! 

7/8

Your daddy finished his second day at Norfolk Police Academy today! We are very proud of him!  We have been very busy over the last couple of weeks preparing for this new adventure. I know your dad is incredibly excited that this is finally coming about! It's been a little unnerving trying to figure out a job switch, insurance switch, and all the other details that come with pay change and timing and other life changing events (YOU) ;) -- in such a short period of time. But we are committed and excited and we will figure out the rest as we go!

We couldn't be in a better situation to make everything work at the moment. It feels right and that is incredibly comforting. I have to admit though, I tend worry about him with this particular career choice ... but most of the time ... the best things require a lot of faith. I'm sure that's what you and I will be resting on a lot in the future.

Love you and daddy so very much,
<3
Mom

Little Notes for Little Eli -Part 4

4/10
Sweet Hop-Along,
(It is almost Easter after all.)

Apparently I have tendonitis in my right foot (or at least that's the label the doctor came up with).  I suppose it's from walking a long distance in flat tennis shoes last week or making a slightly long drive without cruise control, or hormones and "loosening" muscles, or perhaps a combination of everything. I'm really not sure. But sometimes I like to tell people ridiculous stories of my adventures.   .
...like saving a school bus of children
...or my MMA competition
...or catching a robber in heels
Hey, the stories may not exactly be true... but they are entertaining.  ;)

So really... I very unexpectedly woke up on Tuesday with pain in my foot. I walked around on it hoping it would start to feel better but by the end of the day it was throbbing and I couldn't sleep ...so your sweet daddy wrapped it up in an ace bandage.

In the morning before work, I couldn't put any pressure on it at all. It hurt so badly that I was laughing hysterically while trying to hobble around. (Apparently this is what I do when I'm in pain -- labor should be fun!) The laughing tears quickly turned to real tears though and I realized that I should see a doctor before things got worse. You, Me, and Mama ended up hobbling into Patient First (looking absolutely ridiculous I might add). The nurses were very kind to us, created a "half-cast" sort of contraption, and eventually taught us to walk with crutches! I've never been on crutches before. Ever! That was certainly an interesting adventure for a very accident prone woman and her wee little guy. ;) 

Work has been quite the event. I'm really not used to sitting still.  And I really don't like having to depend on others to help me do everyday tasks. It certainly gives me a better appreciation for those that have to do this regularly and I'm certainly grateful for the help.  Perhaps this is a gentle(ish) reminder from God, regarding my independent streak and desire to do everything on my own.

We will just keep learning together, won't we?

Love you,
Your accident-prone Momma

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4/15
Baby Boy,

We made it through this week at work, through Easter, cottage preparations, and cleaning. Wow. I certainly feel more blessed than ever to regularly have working limbs, let me tell you! Everything from driving to showing upstairs model apartments to carrying books or food or drinks has been quite an adventure.  I think I've pulled just about every muscle around my abs on these things. But on the bright side -- my arms are going to be buff for summer! ;)

Proud of us,
Mom

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4/24
Little Big Guy, 

We did it! We officially moved.
Furniture was built, baskets and bins and boxes were packed, closets were emptied, the cottage was cleaned, furniture was sold and stored. We have some minor things left to do but it feels so good to have some finality to a month-long preparation.

Breathe easy Baby,
Mom

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4/26
Wiggles McGee,

I felt a funny "popping" sensation low to the left of my tummy while laying very still in bed tonight and I'm pretty sure it was you.

I really like being able to feel you finally,
Mommy

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4/28
Dear (what are our names again)?

We. Are. Exhausted.
The past week has been quite a marathon of work and school and crutching and packing and moving and unpacking and organizing and shopping for things to organize with. We had some wonderful help from friends this week -from cleaning help to borrowing vehicles to transport furniture to heavy lifting. We've been SO blessed to have extra hands to support us this week!  You and I certainly couldn't take on this project alone, kid. Daddy was hugely helpful, along with your Mama and Papa, Aunt Sarah and our sweet friends that loaned us their time and vehicles and scrubbing-power.

I think it's time for... zzzz
zzzz
zz

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4/29
Busy Bee,

20 week appointment! We got to see you again today and confirmed once again that you are, in fact, a little boy!

We also found out that you have a little bit of extra fluid on one kidney, so we are praying that it goes away naturally before our next ultrasound appointment towards the end of the pregnancy. We were told that it tends to be more common in little guys than little girls and often times goes away before you would make your way into our arms. Still, I worry about you. --Other than that minor (potential) issue you seem to be quite perfect -- and VERY active!  (Even the ultrasound tech was impressed with your activity level.) You Sir, are one busy bee! You do not like being prodded and you don't seem to like when Momma lays down flat.  

Oh, and we also finished picking your name!
It was quite an event since your dad and I don't agree on many names :) We love it and we hope you do too. 

...Now I'll have a full name to say when you are busy getting into trouble ;)  --and when I just want to love on you.

Love you so very much, Eli Oliver Rieke. 

<3Your crazy-excited Momma

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5/5

My Little Man, 

Yesterday was a hard day for us.  I suppose my worries about your health and safety due to my high  sugar counts, work stress, school stress, and these blasted hormones sent me into a whirlwind of anxiety. I felt so incredibly discouraged and rather worth-less as a shelter to protect you and grow you. I was an all-out mess. I am trying hard to keep you safe, Eli. I really, really, am.

I wish my body would cooperate a bit better, especially when it's lack of cooperation can jeopardize your well-being. But, like many other things, it's mostly out of my control. All I can do is try my best and pray (a lot) that God will spare you any hurts that come from whatever tough decisions I have to make.

This is my view of us today :)
Mercy, we've been growing like a weed.  My back and neck and shoulders and stomach are certainly all feeling the strain... but no extra weight to report yet, really. Your wonderful Daddy gave us a soothing back massage tonight after we spent the day grocery shopping and preparing snacks and meals for the week and studying and exam-taking and cooking dinner.
We got pampered! It was lovely. He's the best!

I'm eager to see you grow, little guy. -- Not so eager to see me grow ;) but super stoked to be able to enjoy this special time with you. It is quite a gift!

Stay safe, okay?
Momma Bear

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5/13/14
Eli Oliver,

Here we are today:

...and we've officially gained our very first pound together! (It's about time! Our sugar-free/high protein diet, changing hormones and sickly start together hasn't allowed for a great deal of indulgence or accompanying weight gain it seems). Good going, little man! Keep growing big and tough!  I simply can't wait until your Dad can feel your kicks and punches and rolls.  I can definitely tell you've been getting stronger.

Oh and most importantly (on the food front) we've really been into Turkey Avocado BLTs from Panera.  We love our occasional trips to Skinny Dip for frozen yogurt with strawberries and we really like fresh baked mini Tollhouse cookies and milk right now ...like REALLY!  Of course, all of our sweet cravings have to be kept to a minimum but ohhhh what a wonderful treat.  You have good taste little man! ;)

I love you more than sweet tea and caramel lattes combined!  -Just sayin'
Mom

p.s. --Sorry the laptop balanced on my belly and knees is cramping your style ;) I'll keep that in mind next time. 

Little Notes for Little One -Part 2

2/9/14
Sweets,

Well today has been an interesting day. Seems as though these hormones are in full swing. Apparently I need to eat something every hour or I turn into a low-blood sugar, terribly nauseous, "hangry", weeping mess.

Speaking of weeping. I was watching cute and silly videos today and couldn't keep myself from crying. It's really quite ridiculous. Mother/son fun wedding dance... Tears. Hallelujah chorus at a shopping mall for Christmas... Tears. Cute puppy... Tears.

Everyone thinks that you must just be a sensitive soul, little one. :)

Love you -- to the point of tears,
;) Mom

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2/11/14
Sweet heavens Baby,

Momma has not been feeling very well.  We don't seem to be liking food much at all right now. I've been trying to drink, drink, drink to keep up hydrated and happy though.  I sure hope you are doing well in there... and that you are growing! -- My hormones certainly seem to know we are changing.

Keep up the good-growing work,
Mom

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2/19/14
Sleepyhead,

We are so tired! Sweet georgia peaches, we can barely keep our eyes open sometimes. Yet oddly enough we can't seem to sleep when we want to most! (See, you are learning so much already... This is what we call "cruel irony")

I imagine we have many sleepless nights ahead of us -- lets just call this a trial run.  I'm sure we will be great snuggle buddies when I finally get to hold you and feed you and sing you songs. I really look forward to those nights. Sleeplessness has such lovely purpose.

I think it's nap time,
Your exhausted Momma

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2/21/14
Tiny,

Your loving and oh-so-excited aunt Mariah has requested pictures of us.  -- However your very small stature, at this point, hasn't allowed for much 'bump-age'.  I do look forward to having some outward proof of your existence though soon! --But maybe not too much "proof" ;)

Thanks for your your consideration,
Mom

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2/24/14
Baby E, 

Granny and Granddaddy came to visit us this weekend. They probably qualify for 'Survivor' now, as they were left to scrounge for food in our empty fridge for a couple of days -- and managed to survive on Fig Newtons, hot tea, oatmeal and tiny cheese wedges.

We still aren't liking food smells or tastes or thoughts of food very much but I think we are on our way to normal snacking soon! Woo hoo!

Hooray for family,
Mom

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2/25/14
Little Love,

Well today marks 11 weeks for us.  We've made it so far, little one. Let's keep going strong! Momma has been quite dizzy recently but my appetite is finally starting to come back. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a recipe for disaster... but I'll take what I can get.  I have felt quite nauseous every day since our first couple of weeks together.  Over the past couple of days, despite nausea, I have been able to enjoy small bits of tasty foods without regretting eating. I do love food. Also, I love you.

Thanks for taking it easy on me this week,
Mommy

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2/28/14
Sweetheart,

You gave us quite a scare yesterday, Love.  We had an appointment on Tuesday and I got to hear you, once again. One quick swipe with a doppler and I heard that little bitty heart beating loud and clear. What a wonderful sound!

But later on that evening we were accidently hit pretty hard in the stomach and mommy was worried that you might have gotten hurt. We went back to the doctor for another quick check on the doppler  just to ease my mind.  Two nurses and a doctor couldn't find your little heart for 45 minutes so we had to wait and come back for an ultrasound days later.

My heart and your daddy's heart were breaking -- not knowing if you were okay. Our gracious friends were able to help us and we got to see you tonight, safe and sound, just wiggling around.
Thankfully you are so little and well-protected at this stage that you seem to be just fine.
(We do think you might have a future in acrobatics or martial arts, though.)  ;)

We love you, Baby, so so so much!  We are so incredibly grateful that our fears weren't confirmed and that you seem to be quite well.

Stay safe and keep practicing for your future acrobatic adventures,

Mom and Dad <3

The Difference

The difference between a "couple" and a "family" is one. 

One sweet pea to bring home.

One is the difference between being a wife and a mother. One is the difference between being a husband and a daddy. Oh how I'd love to change my title, our title.

...one more mouth to feed; one more reason to not sleep through the night; one more worry; one more responsibility. I know. ...but you can't change my heart.

My love and desire for a little one (our little one) laying on my chest, or curled up on my lap, overshadows any anxiety or worry about parenthood.

 When I think about becoming a little family of three, I think how lovely it would be to celebrate Christmas morning with our own family traditions. I think about all the things I'd like us to do...

Autumn walks, decorating pumpkins, and dressing up.  Snow angels, hot cocoa and 3 stockings hanging up.  Wagon rides and flower picking. Running around in the rain. Swinging and sliding and climbing, summertime popsicles and sprinkler fun.

Bedtime routines, tooth brushing, bath time, pajama dancing, reading, singing and late-night snuggles. Brushing hair off their forehead and kissing their soft cheeks and nose.

Watching their face as they learn something new or stand in amazement over something seemingly simplistic.

I think about how their daddy would dearly love them and hug them and teach them all sorts of things.

I think about how, if something happens to my love someday, I'll have a little piece of him -- maybe with his crazy hair and smiling eyes and sense of humor.

I really want to share something special. 

Just one, please, God.

What Heaven Looks Like

I have a slight "obsession" (lets say) with sunshine through the clouds. One of my most favorite things about creation is how absolutely breathtaking the sunshine can be when peeking through the clouds.  --  I think to myself, every single time, “I bet this is what heaven looks like.”

Last night while walking with my husband, after eating an oreo mcflurry of deliciousness, Jed drew my attention to the gorgeousness behind us as we were walking down the beach towards our house.  

We stopped on a dune to try and capture the loveliness in pictures and enjoy it before the sun became faint.  I remember briefly thinking, "Wow, I never notice how wonderful the sunshine is until it's beaming through dark clouds."  

--and it hit me --  isn't that so true? 

I felt so content in that moment, so joyful and so grateful for this "little" gift. God knows how much I adore sunrise and sunset.  

That little 'glimpse of heaven' makes my heart feel light and hopeful, even when my emotions are running wild – even through tough times and disappointments. When I see something like this, I want to praise God for how incredible He is.  How could that kind of beauty be an accident? 

And it reminds me, every time, how much I am loved, how beautiful our God is and how excited I am to, one day, be in the most breath-taking place with my Savior. 

--If that moment had a soundtrack, this song would be playing.  

How Great is Our God -Chris Tomlin

A Wish, a Kiss and a Prayer

Hopes I had and still have for our little one and for our little one(s), hopefully, still to come someday...

I pray that …

 you will always come to me when you are hurting. Even though I won’t be able to take the pain away every time, please let me help comfort you, even if that simply means holding you or telling you how much you are loved.

you will let me share in your happiness and excitement when things are going well.

you will learn to make your own choices and decisions in life.  I want you to be able to weigh consequences and benefits of your decisions and make up your own mind. 

you will consistently ask God for wisdom and understanding … and trust Him when He answers. 

you trust your decision-making ability when you know the truth.

you will be solid in your beliefs but mold-able and tender to those around you. 

God will be the center of your life.  I want His truth to weigh heavily upon your heart, even more than your dad’s and my words.

you will be able to tell me anything and know that I will still love you and always, always, want you. 

your stubbornness (which you clearly get from your father)  ;)  will be used as a motivator to accomplish great things and influence others towards honorable things.

you will put family first, and treat your friends as treasures.

you like being neat and tidy (I can dream, can’t I?)

you get your dad’s smile and that you’ll smile as much as he does.

you will know your God-given value, always.

you will always treat others with respect and courtesy.

you will thoroughly think through your words and actions and tread carefully when others’ hearts are on the line. 

you won’t over think everything. 

you will always know truth. I desperately want you to know the difference between lies and truth …and never let the lies sink into your heart.

you will be an encourager. This world has plenty discouraging things. Everyone needs a little support.

you never give up (especially during the times when you can’t quite see the light at the end of the tunnel) …even when you can’t wrap your mind around everything going on.  I hope you press forward and always look up for guidance.
               
you aren’t afraid to be a little silly.  You don’t always have to be completely serious. Relax, enjoy the small things and have fun growing up.

you will to know who's you are and who God made you to be. I pray that you’ll know your strengths and your weaknesses and use your talents for His glory.

you will learn from your mistakes and be careful and not repeat them.

you know what makes you special and valuable. 

you will know what makes you “normal”, so you can connect with others and better understand their thoughts and feelings.  Understanding is often a key to encouragement.

you will always see the potential in yourself and in others. 

you are honest, trustworthy, and always willing to work for what you want.

you use caution in all things but don’t allow caution to harden your heart or make you fearful.

you find great value in loving others.

you are motivated to influence others positively …whether it’s a few or a few hundred.

you learn to rest and relax.  It’s important to enjoy being still and quiet. 

you will learn balance …in relationships, in service, in working and learning and finances.

you will always love and respect your daddy.

you will love being snuggled and hugged like your momma does.

you won’t allow emotions to rule you but that you will still be able to ‘feel deeply’ for things that break God’s heart.

you will always protect and care for the people you love.

eventually, you will meet someone who challenges you, comforts you, protects your heart, and always leads you back to God when you feel like wandering. 

you will always direct those who are hurting to the One that can fill their needs and mend their hearts.

you truly enjoy music. Selfishly, I hope that you love music, singing, playing…  it would be so wonderful to share music and song with you.

you always keep a sense of wonder and amazement.

you’ll be adventurous and spontaneous and goofy. How else will we have late-night ice cream outings and music-filled mini road trips?

I love you little one... I’m going to love you even when you are grown, and strong, and perfectly independent.  I won’t always have the right words to say, and I’m sure I won’t always do the right things either, but just know that every bit of me loves you, and has, even before I knew we would have you. Every time I dream about the future and our little family, I pray for you and for the person you will become.  ...and mostly ,I pray that God will allow me to have you, and keep you, someday. 

This Time -Carrie Underwood

This Time -Carrie Underwood

CLICK ME :)

This song reminds me of late night drives to visit my Jed at college. I would often listen to this song on my iPod at work before hitting the road.  Every time I hear it, it still gives me that same feeling of excitement.

I'm waiting for Jed to come home tonight, listening to this song, remembering our dating days and thinking how blessed I am not to have to drive across state lines to see him.