Progress > Perfection

Perfect.
A big burden for a simple word.

Perfect.  A word that is capable of making me feel weak, worthless, anxious and incapable. Desiring to do things perfectly, say things well, give off that "perfect" impression is certainly one of my biggest flaws.

...I mean, who doesn't want to be the Mary Poppins of their household or social group?  --A capable, well-spoken, woman (flawless in heart, and mind, and beauty) who never uses commas or  parenthesis or ellipsis incorrectly ;) and who's "golden touch" makes everything wonderful, and lovely, and well-behaved. 

While my perfectionist ways often lead me towards doing my very best, they hinder me in so many ways. Compulsive organizing and the need to be neat, gift giving, craft projects and relationships are all often run by this strong desire for perfection. --Perfectly clean, the perfect present for so-and-so, the flawless craft project that looks professional, perfect communication.  -- Totally do-able right?  Not so much.
--
Whether is spurs from the need to control or some egotistical problem with the heart, I can't easily escape it.  Somewhere along the line, I started believing that the more organized, the more active, the more studious, the more crafty, the more independent I was... the more valuable I became.  While this mentality often works well in educational and career realms (with grades and promotions for hard work and long hours etc.) it doesn't help the heart much. 

I've been working on some homemade Christmas projects for family and friends over the past few weeks. It's the first time, perhaps since elementary school, that I've felt the urge to be crafty AND decided that it was worth potentially failing in order to give something that took time and energy and meant something special.

A few nights ago, while attempting to direct my noncompliant paintbrush over a canvas,  I was overwhelmed with anxiety. Disobedient paintbrush decided to flick paint beside a line that was supposed to be perfectly straight.  Immediately tears came to my eyes and my heart sank. Then my unruly hand brushed against wet paint and made little paint scuffs across my crisp white background. Noooooooo!  

I was seriously distressed. My heart fell somewhere between disappointed and devastated.  And in that brief moment, when I was contemplating lighting my canvas on fire or throwing it in the lake, I realized how utterly ridiculous that feeling was.  I wanted it to be perfect so badly that it felt like a 'loss' when it wasn't going to turn out the way I had hoped.  It wasn't because I was wanting to be world's best painter, it was because (in my mind) anything less than perfect wasn't worth giving away.

As I sat there staring at my now "mess" of a project, I thought... "If it's not going to be perfect, then it's not worth doing".

Interesting.

I think this same thing all. the. time. When since did gifts have to be absolutely perfect? When did friendships and conversations and meals and organizing have to be perfect for them to be "worth it"?

I don't know if anyone gets stuck in this rut as much as I do, but I assume that we all have these tendencies (especially when something is important to us).  And I just thought, seeing as it's the season of giving, that perhaps we all need a little bit of grace in this area.

I apologize in advance for those of you who will receive a canvas with a smudgy letter or to those that have to endure my less than perfect cooking or singing or not quite clean house. ;)  I'm trying to learn to put my value in the progress (and passion) and not perfection.

I'm not going to get all philosophical here today but that 'ah-ha' moment of mine really made an impact.  I already gave away a couple of things I wasn't completely satisfied with. And that's a big deal.  I've crafted and knitted and attempted things before but, until now, always gave up and threw away the things that didn't meet the mark. (aka all of them) But my mark is changing, with a lot of effort, and humility, and apologies. ;) --and not just with gift giving-- things are changing in my heart, in my values and  in my views of who I am and who I want to be.

I don't want to be known as the person who's always perfect... because I won't try anything that I won't succeed at.  I want to be know as the person that puts her heart into things even when failure is a great possibility.  Will anyone else work on this with me this year? 

  <3 Lauren

 

What Heaven Looks Like

I have a slight "obsession" (lets say) with sunshine through the clouds. One of my most favorite things about creation is how absolutely breathtaking the sunshine can be when peeking through the clouds.  --  I think to myself, every single time, “I bet this is what heaven looks like.”

Last night while walking with my husband, after eating an oreo mcflurry of deliciousness, Jed drew my attention to the gorgeousness behind us as we were walking down the beach towards our house.  

We stopped on a dune to try and capture the loveliness in pictures and enjoy it before the sun became faint.  I remember briefly thinking, "Wow, I never notice how wonderful the sunshine is until it's beaming through dark clouds."  

--and it hit me --  isn't that so true? 

I felt so content in that moment, so joyful and so grateful for this "little" gift. God knows how much I adore sunrise and sunset.  

That little 'glimpse of heaven' makes my heart feel light and hopeful, even when my emotions are running wild – even through tough times and disappointments. When I see something like this, I want to praise God for how incredible He is.  How could that kind of beauty be an accident? 

And it reminds me, every time, how much I am loved, how beautiful our God is and how excited I am to, one day, be in the most breath-taking place with my Savior. 

--If that moment had a soundtrack, this song would be playing.  

How Great is Our God -Chris Tomlin

Seeing the Shore

I came across this today while looking for some music to lift my spirits. (It's worth watching)  :)



My heart has been so heavy (over the past several weeks) for some of my closest friends. It's been difficult  to watch people I love so deeply struggle so much.

I know that I haven't been the best encourager as I've recently felt it difficult to hold my own head above water.

My encouragement attemps usually consist of hugging, listening, nodding and  attempting to interject something of value.  Something like, " just keep swimming"... "I know this is not easy and honestly, it may not get much easier... but it's going to be worth it."

I often feel like a broken record when attempting to communicate something meaningful- since most of my days are spent trying to convince myself of the same 'meaningful' thing.

When bad things happen, when I'm anxious, and tired, and want to knock someone's block off...
When things are unclear and I can't see past the thick fog... I just keep telling myself:

Pray, Pray, Pray.
-Ask for anxieties to be calmed.
-Ask the Lord for wisdom and for encouragment.
-Ask for joy.
-Ask for protection and provision.
-Ask for peace that passes my own understanding.
-Ask for grace.
-Ask for clarity.
-Ask for a thankful heart.

Knock on doors.
Wait to see if they will open and see what happens next.
-That's really all we can do, right?

Rest.
Regroup.
Refill.
Take some time to be quiet, spend time with God and spend time relaxing or having fun with 'comfortable' people who uplift and encourage.

Oh, and...
Sing a peppy song.
They always help to make this heavy heart feel a bit lighter.



It's so incredibly difficult in times of high anxiety and uncertainty to find a true sense of peace and joy.
...and I think that this phase of life in particular tends to make everything a bit "foggy".

It's hard to see the shore. It's hard to trust in the end result.  It's hard to keep going despite feeling so far from home, so far from certainty and comfort, and so exhausted from pressing forward.
But we do.

And God is pleased.

That is success.  Simply making it to the shore.   -Whether swimming, floating, boating or nearly drowing on the way.

We pray through it, work through it and we do our very best.

Well Done- Moriah Peters

Letting Go and Letting God

Lord, I Need You

Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep, Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes where You are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

So teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus You're my hope and stay

--An excellent and powerful reminder for days when you feel like praising
... and for days when your heart feels like a concrete in your chest.

All you can do is release control, aknowledge God's goodness, grace, power, and protection
...pray for peace and wisdom, and consistently remind your mind to have Faith in the Lord's promises.

I often need a daily reminder to release control.
Songs of praise and surrender have this incredible way of calming my anxiety and chipping away at the heavy heart within me.

I hope this song can be the song of your heart today (and everyday) too.
<3

It's Sunshine Award Season

The always lovely, always humorous and always interesting, Anna at The Silent Isle was sweet enough to include me in her nominations for the Sunshine Award!

“The Sunshine Award is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers. The receivers of the Sunshine Award are bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogsphere.”

I love this little guy! He makes me smile. ^  I have to admit...  I'm amazed that, despite my gramatical errors and consistent misuse of all sorts of punctuation, I still somehow managed to make the list. ;)  Thanks, Anna!  

Oh, but with that... *insert curtsey and cliche two-handed trophy shake* ...there's a catch. The award requires that I tell 7 facts about myself and then nominate 7 others! Ooooooh I'm so excited!

The question is- What don't you already know about me?

Well...

I figure I'll start where I'm most familier...   food! ;)

1. I absolutely LOVE strawberry shortcake...  and I don't mean the silly little cartoon girl,  I'm taking about the deliriously deliciousness kind.  I'm not sure if it's the strawberries I love, or just the mountains of whip-cream that I eat while preparing said dessert, but my mouth is watering right now just thinking about it! 

2. I'm loving the show White Collar! Less because of the plot and more because of the suave suits that character, Neal Caffrey wears, I'm just sayin'...he's not too bad to look at.  ;)

3. Despite being "known" as a relatively put-together and somewhat stylish woman... I seriously hate getting ready everyday.  Mornings are the bane of my existence, which tends to put a damper on my daily routine. ;)  

Along with morning issues, I hate having to do my hair on a daily basis. I mean really. It's not going to do what I want to... plus, by not doing it,  I could avoid arm cramps from blowdrying and 2nd degree burns from my flat-iron of doom!  Oh... and lets not get started on clothes fitting properly.  Why do I buy these things, seriously.   ha!

4.  Let's see... most of you probably knows this one - but I'm going to say it anyway...

I love Autumn! Seriously. It always carries the best colors, the prettiest views and crisp-est air.  I always find my favorite clothes in the fall and I love all the lead up to the hoiday season.  I mean really... between allergies, frozen toes and sticky summer skin, I could do away with other seasons, I think.  

Oh, oh, and "autumn" candle scents almost never smell like weeds or cinnamon crazy or pine trees  -like other seasons do.   Autumn smells typically revolve around harvest and thanksgiving- which means food- which means caramel and cake and brulee and pie and warm cookies- which means this girl is a very happy one!

5.  If I could have a lifetime supply of something I think it might be new white socks. How glorious would it be to have your piggies in brand new socks each time you put on sneakers?! They won't stretch out, they won't get holes, you won't have to have a sock hunt in your laundry basket or washing machine AND they'll always be just as soft and squishy as ever! ahhh!

6. I'm slightly obsessive- complusive. I simply can not leave my house without straightening up the couch and living room first.  I have to straighten the pillows, shift the cushions, fold the throw blanket or lay it in a perfect way and put away anything that doesn't 'belong' in the living room away before walking out that front door.

Truly, If I don't straighten everything up, I feel angsty and uneasy. Kind of like feeling you get when you know you've forgotten something important, like the stove is on and could burn down your house -except I feel like that if my couch has a wrinkle. Utterly ridiculous, I know.   

Also, I often write notes or lists over and over and over again until I 'feel' as though my handwriting is uniform and everything is in logical order. The computer saves me a lot of time and aggrivation. 

7. you probably know this too... but I truly think that piglets are the cutest animals on the planet- right next to baby elephants.  Seriously... the way they prance around adn snort and those ugly little noses make them oooh so adorable!  I die. Everytime. My typical response to seeing a picture or video... tears. 

 See, I'm tearing up right now!

And now, without further ado…

I follow quite a few fantastic blogs that I obviously find inspirational or hysterical (I love those kind) but since I'm limited to just 7... I thought I would pick a few ‘seasoned’ bloggers and some 'diamonds in the rough' that may be a bit newer to the blogsphere... but incredible nonetheless! 

You should follow their journeys too as they encourage others, speak truth into lives, get a little crafty and well... just make us laugh! <3

 Sarah at Life and Grace

Whitney at Navybeans 

Sarah at Sarah Sane and Tall

April at Chronically Hopeful 

Lauren at Traded Dreams

Jess at Get Busy Living

Darla at My Crazy Life

Promise and Purpose for the New Year

Promises for 2013...and always:

Things to Remember this year:

 

Be Grateful:

Be Content:

Be Courageous:

Be Careful:

Be Moldable:

Be Constant in Prayer:

Be Hopeful: 

Be Kind: 

 

Be Realistic:

...Only Jesus can save. 

Be Patient: 

Don't Be Angry: 

Forgive:

 

Don't Compare:

Look Forward:

The new year typically ushers in many 'resolutions'...

New diet plans, work-out routines, new promises, new desires and plenty of hope for new beginnings...

but how many times do we actually follow through? 

How many resolutions die off after a few weeks or months? 

How many things do we start and fail to finish well?

This year, I don't chose 'resolution',

I choose 'revolution'

Revolution in my own life.  

I'm not simply deciding;  I am going to act.  

This not an addition to my daily routine.  It's a replacement of my daily routine.  

It's surrender.

I'm overthrowing anger and bitterness, mistrust, jealousy and fear.

I am going to seek God's face.  (only His face)

I am going to meditate on truth.

I am going to be constant in prayer.

... on a moment by moment basis.

I know that I'm not strong enough, brave enough, or motivated enough on my own... and I know I will fail at times.... but I surrender to what God has for me this year.  It may not be what I want now, it may not be what I think is best,  easiest, or the most 'glamourous'...  

But I'm going to chose to believe that God has me right where he wants me.

I'm going to choose to believe, once again, that God will give my the deepest desires of my heart if I delight myself in him.  I'm going to believe that God sees the unseen and that's good enough for me.

I'm going to believe the best about people.  I'm going to love. I'm going to forgive. I'm going to be glad for others and I'm not going to allow jealousy to creep in and steal my joy.  

I'm going to trade in anger for tears, if that's what it takes. 

I'm going trust that something beautiful is coming.

I'm going to talk to myself like God would talk to me.  

I'm going to assume that others aren't judging me as harshly as I judge myself.

I'm going to take time to be still.

I'm going to be hopeful.  

What's your New Year's Revolution?

Affirmations

Affirmations

In preparation for Thanskgiving, I've been thinking about the blessings that have come to me this year and I've been trying to think about one thing in particular that has meant a lot to mewhich brought me to the idea of affirmations.  I'm so incredibly grateful for the little notes or texts emails or facebook comments I receive on an almost daily basis, even when nothing particularly traumatic is happening.  It’s just so nice to know that people care and it’s nice to know they think of me every once in a while and that they are willing to share a little moment of their time telling me about their day or asking me about mine.  :)

I find it particularly wonderful to hear the words “I’m proud of you...” every so often.  That simple little phrase makes my heart melt and brings tears to my eyes instantly.

It’s so comforting and fulfilling to hear that someone I admire thinks highly of me... or thinks of me at all, really. I have to admit, it is one of the few things that truly helps me feel ‘on track’ in life. When I can't hear a direct, "good job" from God, it's sure nice to hear it from those seek wisdom and advice from.

When Jed and I did our pre-marital counseling (either for counseling or on our own… I can’t remember) we read the book The 5 Love Languages again.  I think I ranked ‘Words of Affirmation’ second to last.  For me, quality time, physical touch and acts of service took the cake as 1^st, 2^nd, and 3^rd place winners in the love language department.  I guess I never realized how much I really do need to actually hear loving things though.  

After years of trying to convince myself that I didn't need affirmation, confirmation, or recognition from those I looked up to... I'm beginning to realize just how heavily those comments weigh on my heart.  This recent realization came from my endeavors to work through some of the negative self-talk in my head. It's amazing how we can remember exact comments from so long ago and how deeply they can impact us.   I think it's really important to understand just how detrimental and hurtful words can be   ...and also how important and wonderful positive words can be too!

When I stop hearing ‘little praises’ here and there, it becomes more apparent how truly encouraging those little praises are.  I know that it helps my heart to hear when someone is happy with me.  All I want to do, after all, is please people. *An attitude that I have been  working on tweaking a bit in recent years …and a discussion/post for another time*  But truly, I love when people are pleased. I love it when I feel as though God is pleased. 

All that to say that I have been trying to remind myself how much I love to be encouraged an how I should, in turn, encourage others.  Everyone has their own unique 'love language' (and it may not always match mine) ...but I've been trying to do little things here and there  in hopes of loving others in the best way I can.

I encourage you to do the same! You probably already do... but just in case you need a little inspiration…

Words of Affirmation
Let someone know that you care with little, but meaningful, things like note or cards.  Share "little praises". Tell them when you are pleased, appreciative, honored, impressed. Check in over the phone, send a brief email or text just to say hi. Send encouraging verses or stories ...or just chat about life.

*If you know of someone who is particularly kind or attentive at their job,  take time to let their manager know how pleased you are with their service.
* If you see a child that is well-behaved or helpful (at the grocery store, for instance) compliment them in front of their parents.

Words of affirmation can be wonderful, especially in the work place. You could help someone, who deserves it, get a raise...who knows.  And kids need all the encouragement they can get. Who knows if they get any at home.
.
Quality Time
Take the time to sit down over dinner or coffee and talk with someone. Share prayer requests, disappointments, silly stories, history, and hopes.  Teach someone something new.  Find a common interest or new hobby. Give someone attention when they are busy getting on your last nerve ;)

Physical Touch
Give a hearty hug and a smile or even a little wink and nudge.

Receiving Gifts 
Send a little care package, a card or gift certificate. Tip above and beyond the regular guidelines when eating out.  Buy a meal or coffee for someone else the next time you go out.  Share your coupons or make something special for someone... like a craft or a meal.

Acts of Service
Help a loved one with the dishes, the laundry, a craft project, homework or cooking.  Help build, fix or move something. Bring them a drink or offer to take over a chore for them.

Let those that are struggling know that you are available, that you’re sorry they are hurting, that you empathize, that you’ll pray. Encourage service, outreach, rest, and prayer when things get tough and when things get easier too. Participate in fellowship, in outreach and be a shepherd who tends to the needs of those around you, whether they are emotional, spiritual or physical.

I so admire those who use their valuable time, energy and money to serve others and show them that someone cares! You are the little bit of sunshine is someone’s day… so keep shining!  Don’t get burnt out.  Do what you can, spend quality time with God, have some fun, laugh a little and spend some quality time relaxing too.

Thank you for all you do and thank you for being such an excellent example of Christ’s love to those around you! <3

Encourage

Encourage.

This one simple word has been coming to mind a lot lately.

 There are times in everyone’s life when encouragement is hard to come by. Life can be quite discouraging overall sometimes, and somewhere between our minor daily disappointments and our seemingly ‘broken dreams’, we lose heart and we lose motivation.  I truly believe there is great importance in the Christian community coming together to encourage each other. And I don’t mean in only “spiritual” ways…

We each have a part to play and we each have different gifts. We all are capable of encouraging, even the most ‘realistic’ of us. ;)  Every Christian should be optimistic in a couple of respects:

1.      There is always HOPE.

…Maybe there isn’t always hope of recovery or hope of more time on earth. Maybe there isn’t always hope for someone who’s now dealing with the consequences of the past or to recover lost time or money. But there is always hope in knowing that God is in control. There is hope that if you believe in Christ, you will have a heavenly escape after this life on earth. There is hope that nothing is too great, too broken, too far from God’s hand and His heart.

2.      There is always POTENTIAL to INFLUENCE.

… There is always potential to influence and encourage those around us.  Maybe it’s one neighbor, a stranger, a few co-workers, or perhaps we have a large audience, but no matter what, there is always potential in influencing those around us in the way we live and speak. It doesn’t necessarily take money or status to influence others.  It takes us living respectably and with integrity.

3. We are only required to LOVE GOD.

…Loving God means having a relationship with Him. It mean following His commandments and wanting to please Him, always.  It means loving others.  It means doing what we say, acting in a wise manner, seeking wise counsel and aligning our goals with God’s ...and surrendering our will to His. When we consistently align ourselves with the bible and it’s principles, our actions and thoughts all follow along.

If we were judged based on perfection, none of us would ever measure up. We aren’t perfect, just forgiven. Redeemed.

4.      There is always POTENTIAL for CHANGE.

…We can’t always change our circumstances or the world we currently live in but we can change ourselves. We can be responsible for our choices and actions. We can direct the path of our own lives. We can help direct the path of our families, our companies and our communities. We can change our hearts, our minds and our motives. No one is beyond God’s reach. He won’t impose himself on those who turn their back, but He will always be there and will never let go of his kids.

I challenge you to continue to…

"Encourage one another daily," Hebrews 3:13

…Because we all need to be reminded of the hope and potential we have through Christ.

<3 Lauren