Our 2013 Journey

2013. Quite a year for our little family of 2...

Close to the start of the year, we went to Florida for a wedding. I got to see some of Jed's family, I had never met before. We were able to spend time with Dave and Teresa (for the first time) outside of normal, day-to-day, activities in Virginia Beach.  I loved that. It was so interesting to see family with family too-- they are a bit crazy/quirky ;) I really like them. Also, I met Ariel at Disney World and ate a ridiculous amount of theme park food. A memorable trip, I'd say.

We moved out of the Rieke cottage and into our first apartment in Norfolk at the end of February. I learned a ton about myself and about my new job after getting thrown into the deep end of apartment management and becoming a rarely-leave-home resident manager. Jed began his second year with The Center and made it through another great symposium. It's always exhausting and time consuming, but incredibly rewarding for all his hard work to finally come together.

We made it nearly 6 months at Pleasant Village, which is certainly a miracle in my book. The amount of stress in that position was quite difficult. We absolutely loved our neighborhood and our wonderful summer strolls on the bay, though. We couldn't really make ends meet with the pay and time constraints of the job so... in August we made another change... mostly for sanity's sake and for the sake of our bank account.

Through a strange, and wonderful, turn of events (while we were looking for new housing options in Virginia Beach in August) I heard of another property manager/assistant manager position with my (now) new company. I started at Shoreline on September 1st and, frankly, I couldn't have been placed with a better manager or in a better position. I don't make millions, but I certainly am happy with this job.  I imagine it will turn out to be more of a career.  I would have never guessed that property administration and management would be such a great fit overall.

In the same month as our second move of the year, Jed gained a new boss at The Center. Jed handled the transition incredibly well. Not only did The Center's management change, but many of their goals and visions. It was not an easy adjustment for Jed, who truly loved the Center's previous mission but he has made it through and has done his job very well. He's intelligent and capable and amazing at maintaining a good outlook overall, even when things don't go as planned.

I believe that Jed has learned a lot about himself this past year too.  He helped me through a lot of change and made a lot of hard decisions regarding the family "brand" he wants to create, his career goals, and our living situation. There have been significant disappointments for us this past year, but I truly think we made it through very, very, well. I like being on a team with my Jed.

We may not have graduated or married, bought a house or had little ones in 2013, but our lack of (seemingly) huge or life-altering events or announcements actually shaped us more than some of the bigger things we've accomplished.

Things haven't often been made very clear for us over the past few years of marriage but I'm looking forward to deciphering God's plans in the coming year. One day at a time. We can make it. I'd say 2013 was a great success and much, much, more than an unsettled journey. It's been a really rewarding one.

Happy 2014, Friends and Family. <3

I pray that this new year brings a great deal of heart change and happiness... that your blessings will be incredibly evident, and hardships won't defeat you (especially your spirit) but be taken as an opportunity to learn and grow closer to God --and closer to those you love.

We love you.

<3 Lauren

Decisions, Decisions.

I know I've been quiet for a couple of months and thought I'd let you in on the inner workings of this mind of mine. There are about a million and two questions that have been circling my mind and laying heavy on my heart over the last several weeks. 

Here are 5: 

1. Do I really have to give up what we just thought God was orchestrating for us, change my job yet again and revert back to our living situation from 6 months ago? (not that it's the worst- certainly far from it- so don't get me wrong. It's more about the principle and resulting hurt than the situation itself)

2. Do I really have to give up hope on having a baby, yet again, after feeling so hopeful and sure that God was orchestrating it for us... and wait another year to 2 years before trying for family (assuming that in 2 more years, things will be okay financially).  This breaks my heart and I have to constantly put it in 'check'.

3. Would I rather give up the stress of my current job (which allows some flexibility and 'at home' hours) in hopes of making more money (to hopefully aid in family planning)...
OR 
4. Would I rather stay where I am (stretching myself thin with work and stress and praying for consistent opportunity for cash-flow) in hopes of having space and the ability to stay home with an infant (that may or may not come to be in the next year or 2).

5. Which risk is the most 'right'?

Here are my options:

Option #1.
Work a 'normal' 9-5 office job again, leaving our 2 bedroom place behind, and moving back into the cottage so we can try to save money. 

2 year job commitment to prevent job-hopping -resume.
Ability to rest without being 'on call' 24-7.
1 bedroom studio (great little space for just us!) instead of 2 bedroom apartment.
Little room for growth, space-wise.
Little flexibility with 9-5 job
Great flexibility at the cottage if the "bottom falls out" financially.
Great flexibility with choosing to lease in the future (not held to a lease agreement).
Less expense, more savings.
Ability to pick up side-job.
Evenings and weekends free for service, friends, family and rest (as finances allow when trying to save a great deal of money)

Option #2
Work a 'normal' 9-5 office job again, leaving our 2 bedroom place behind, and moving into a 1 bedroom apartment. 

2 year job commitment to prevent job-hopping -resume.
Ability to rest without being 'on call' 24-7.
1 bedroom apartment (with a bedroom door-hooray) instead of 2 bedroom apartment.
Little room for growth, space-wise.
Little flexibility with 9-5 job.
Little flexibility with lease agreement.
Added expenses, added income, little to no savings.
Ability to pick up side-job.
Evenings and weekends free for service, friends, family and rest (as finances allow).
Privacy and space.
Possibility to be close to job(s) for convenience.

Option #3
Continue where we are, managing apartment complex, but pick up multiple side jobs to make ends meet.

Job directly relates to housing situation.
2 bedroom apartment.
Room for growth and guests.
Great neighborhood and area.
Flexibility in terms of day to day activities and timing.
Ability to 'stay at home' with a child.
I don't have to travel to work at all.
Not particularly convenient travel to daily activities but not terrible.
Ability to work side job(s) to make ends meet.
Have to work side job(s) to make ends meet.
Expected to be 'on call' 24-7 and 'in-office' for 44 hours a week. (Monday - Saturday)
Only compensated for 20 hours of weekly work in exchange for housing.
Only one day off per week (Sunday- but emergencies always take precedence)
On call 24-7.  Little rest, often high stress and 'emergency' deadlines that must be met.
Having to take on side-jobs doesn't allow a great deal of time for serving (at church) like I'd like to, doesn't allow us to give (financially), like I'd like to, or maintain relationships like I'd like to.

*there are so many variations of each of these options depending on jobs, pay rates, hours worked and days worked...

Around and around we go....


I measure just about everything through these three questions:
Is it RIGHTeous?  Is it Logical?  Does it bring glory to God?

None of these options, despite lots of prayers, have been clearly laid out as much more right or more logical or more glorifying that the others. Not having clarity on these things really makes decision-making incredibly difficult and exhausting. -- One moment I'm crying over not wanting to give up on what I thought we would have here, at this job and house... and the next, I'm thinking that, perhaps, with just a little more time and money we can finally get 'there' ...and with the next breath I'm wondering if God wants us to get 'there' at all.

What takes precedence?  Giving (money and time) to church, family, friends? Having a family of our own?Serving and witnessing through the workplace?  Being responsible with finances and saving as much as possible, as to not inconvenience or impose on family and friends?

I couldn't  be any more heavy-hearted or confused than I am now (and have been) while trying to seek clarity from God on these things so...

I'm completely and totally open to all suggestions.  What would you do? Have you ever been in a win/win or no-win situation?  How did you decide? What do you think? 


Before you think I've fallen off the deep-end (because my post isn't filled with bible verses) just know that my heart isn't ungrateful or unyielding or completely discontent.  This is my heart and my mind at work-- and it's been quite a battle.  ...and there's more to come on that.

Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home 

Living Room

The Couch Cushions are a bit 'squiggly' ... and my rainboots are in the entryway  but hey, a girl's got to have access to her rainboots, right?!

Entryway and Hall

Our Wedding 'Guest Book' - Love it.

Dining room- Yes there is a computer on my kitchen counter. 

Happy little office-  lots of light near the window.

Kitchen- where I stuff my face regularly.

Piggy- the only kind I'm allowed to have.  He's very happy.  

Master Bedroom-  Where sometimes Jed tries to make the bed over me in the morning. 

Make-up Station- glorious, no?

Guest Bathroom-

Guest Bedroom/Office/"Storage of Random Stuff Room"-  

Cutiful Bookshelf in Guest Room- filled with memorable things

 

Well, that's our place :)
 I think it's pretty cute...
especially now that our 2nd bedroom actually has a purpose, beyond storing boxes and bags and random junk that hadn't found a home yet.

Thanks for stopping by <3

Feeling Blessed

I haven't had a lot to say recently or lots of exciting pictures to post but (as I'm sure, you've experienced or already know about me) when I'm overwhelmed I tend to be quiet  ...or a raging ball of angst. This week, I choose quiet.

I could write about all the ways that this move has been an adjustment... and all the difficulties surrounding change... but this time, I just want to say how grateful I am about how things have fallen into place for us.  Many a prayer has gone up regarding our future, our family, our jobs, and ministry, and finances... and God has been good to answer prayers quite steadily!

I've been impressed with the ease of making it into our new place. Moving a 400 something sq. ft apartment wasn't as taxing as I had made it out to be in my mind.  ;)  We had wonderful help and a gracious landlord that let us move in early so we could go out of town for a week.

Jed and I were able to go on vacation and spend a little time with Dave and Teresa out of our normal environment, which was super fun!  I met some more of Jed's family! They are just so lovely... and fun too! We hung out in the magical world of Disney for a few days... which  made me feel like a toddler again.  And we came back, safe and sound, ready to tackle the next chapter.

I started my new job training a day later and, despite normal 'complications' with any new training situation and new housing, I feel as though I'm gaining a pretty good grasp on what needs to be accomplished and why. The 'why' part tends to be super important to my learning process, so that's especially great. I'm pretty confident that this job is right for me, which is a much needed feeling, given the substantial changes we've made to make this arrangement work.

Jed is doing well and his job is seemingly solid despite recent Regent position cuts. So that alone is a huge blessing. And where pay seems to be falling a bit short nowadays, God has been providing some great little opportunities for a little extra income.  What an amazing blessing that has been!  ...and hopefully will continue to be!

All that being said...

I'm not going to pretend that this month has been an easy one, though. Jed and I have both been sick from raging allergies, making morning quite an event and evenings a bit tense from exhaustion. My "high strung" emotional status hasn't been super pleasant either, I'm sure.

But still,  despite  fluctuating emotions and tiring days, we are feeling so incredibly blessed and hopeful!

I'm excited about the possibilites that await us, with my new job and new (2 bedroom) home ;)  and I'm desperately praying that God will mold me and shape me however He sees fit so I can learn to truly enjoy what he's put in front of me... right now... in this moment.

And also learn to look forward to the future with great expectations regarding God's provisions and promises!

<3 Thanks for checking in.

Love,
Lauren

Here It Goes Again

I haven’t had the words (or the internet connection) in recent days to explain what’s been happening… ha!  But here’s what’s been going on…

It’s been nearly a week since packing up our little cottage and moving to our (2 bedroom) apartment in the other side of town. Yay! It’s exciting to have extra space and the opportunity and flexibility to now be home during daytime hours… but it’s also quite different from the life I’ve become accustomed to over the last couple of years.

Last Friday night (Dave, Teresa, Jed and I) packed up our little cottage into laundry baskets and bags and loaded up a yellow Penske truck (courtesy of my parents) with furniture and household items and prepared for a rainy Saturday move.  Jed and I stayed at Dave and Teresa’s for the night, signed our lease Saturday morning, and after an angsty meltdown (on my part) we waited for the rain to subside a bit before venturing back to the apartment to unload.  Sarah and Teresa met me at our new place to help ready everything so we could start moving everything in. Sarah brought sustenance and we all grabbed cleaning supplies …and after a sweet prayer (which I desperately needed) we began to clean, line cabinets and direct traffic. 

It ended up going so quickly, I think. Thank God for amazing helpers.  They did most of the work, I think. Dave and Jed did most of the moving with some help from the Jones’ (which was so nice!)  …Meanwhile I basically stood around in a funk, just staring at everything that needed to be accomplished, completely and utterly overwhelmed. I would start doing something and stop after a couple of seconds because I got my brain stuck on something else.

I’m really glad we broke up our packing and transport with a decent night’s sleep.   Everything went so quickly!  It’s so nice to have an extra room and extra space! If I didn’t know where to put it, it just went in the guest room and I closed the door! ,,,Out of sight and out of mind. Well, sort-of. Nothing seems to be ‘out of my mind’ for very long. 

…

I have to admit though, despite our very smooth move and speedy set-up, I’m still scared senseless regarding the unknown in the coming months.  This new adventure we’ve signed up for is a bit more than I can handle at the moment. 

This is my last day at Juvenile Court, until…  well, I have absolutely no idea.  It’s unnerving to think that this could be the end of an entire chapter of my career!!! We just finished unpacking and just packed for a week long vacation again last night. Hooray!!!  With that in mind... here's some peppy 'road trip' style music for your listening pleasure...  ;)   Here It Goes Again

...And when I get back, the fun of learning a new job begins and my last paycheck rolls in! (in Oprah’s voice)  It’s BUDGET time!!!  I’m not gonna lie, It’s scary to lose an entire income.  Mind you, we chose this cut… and I’m incredibly grateful for that!  I’ve been praying that God provides opportunities for us to make some additional income so we won’t be quite so strapped to the very tight budget we have set for ourselves.  I’m hoping, and knowing, that things will fall into place just as they are supposed to (at the right time with finances) just as they did with the move and job change. 

This adventure seems a bit more like a marathon at the moment though.  So for now, at least, I still feel like I did this past weekend…  just standing around, staring at stuff, not knowing what to do next.  I feel like my brain can’t catch up this week.

Transitions seem to make me this way. Zombie Lauren. I feel super busy and bored at the exact same time. I feel disconnected from everyone because of moving to the other side of town but I also feel disconnected because I know that I desperately need some space and quiet to settle myself down. The problem is, I’m craving normalcy too, which includes church and socializing and grocery shopping and work… all of which have been ‘off kilter’ in the last couple of weeks and will be for another week or two.

Friends, please pray me through.  I have a terrible tendency to be very irritable when new things are happening. My control-freak nature definitely rears it’s ugly head and my perfectionism won’t allow me to rest my mind at all until everything is in it’s place and planned out.  …Problem!

My heart has been hurting a bit though too because, despite our wonderful extra room, I can’t help but feel as though (or wish- I guess) that we had a special little 4 month old to have in there …and it makes anxious to look at that space sometimes.  It feels empty yet cluttered with junk. I’m really am trying not to dwell on the "maybes" and "what-ifs" but alas-- I can’t get it off my mind.  And I can’t seem to say it without feeling stupid for continuing to have baby on the brain.

I am hopeful, however and I am excited for God to continue planning this adventure of ours.  Who knows, maybe in the next year or so we will be able to fill that ‘empty space’.  ;)  I can still hope, can’t I?!  But for now, a guest room and office would be super nice!  YAY!  Room for visitors!  I’m so excited!

I’m so grateful for everyone who’s been so supportive and helpful and given of their time and energy and money to help us get moved and settled in.  I can’t imagine trying to do it alone. Thank you so much!  I love you and am so grateful for you!  …and I’m so excited about what this new chapter could mean for us!

Please don’t be offended if I don’t take you up on your lovely offers to help at the moment. Frankly I don’t even know where to begin, really, but I’m hoping to have a better idea of what we need and of my schedule in the next couple of weeks. 

<3 Thanks for checking in on us,

Love, 
Lauren 

Matthew 21:21

And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith, and do not doubt, you shall not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it shall happen.

Ms. Potty Mouth

My Delightful Caller of the Day Award goes to... 

Ms. Potty Mouth

Me- Ma’am, as I’ve told you, we (the clerks) can’t remove your address from this file.  I can, however, put a note in the file so that the next time this person comes to court, the Judge can address the issue with them.

Her- Put yourself in my shoes.   awkward silence

Me- I understand that you don’t want... 

Her- So what you’re telling me is that you don’t give a s*** that I’m humiliated. 

Me- No, that’s not what I told you. I’m simply saying that there is only so much I’m allowed to do.   Our only procedure is…

Her- Well if I get an attorney and sue the city for… mumbling

Me- Ma’am, you are welcome to seek legal counsel.

Her- F*** You B***!!!!

Me- Alright, you too.

10 minutes later

Me: Good Afternoon, Juvenile Court…

Her: mumbling   ...S*** it’s her again.  click.

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job…

At least it keeps me entertained, right?

Never a dull moment at Juvenile Court.