Here It Goes Again

I haven’t had the words (or the internet connection) in recent days to explain what’s been happening… ha!  But here’s what’s been going on…

It’s been nearly a week since packing up our little cottage and moving to our (2 bedroom) apartment in the other side of town. Yay! It’s exciting to have extra space and the opportunity and flexibility to now be home during daytime hours… but it’s also quite different from the life I’ve become accustomed to over the last couple of years.

Last Friday night (Dave, Teresa, Jed and I) packed up our little cottage into laundry baskets and bags and loaded up a yellow Penske truck (courtesy of my parents) with furniture and household items and prepared for a rainy Saturday move.  Jed and I stayed at Dave and Teresa’s for the night, signed our lease Saturday morning, and after an angsty meltdown (on my part) we waited for the rain to subside a bit before venturing back to the apartment to unload.  Sarah and Teresa met me at our new place to help ready everything so we could start moving everything in. Sarah brought sustenance and we all grabbed cleaning supplies …and after a sweet prayer (which I desperately needed) we began to clean, line cabinets and direct traffic. 

It ended up going so quickly, I think. Thank God for amazing helpers.  They did most of the work, I think. Dave and Jed did most of the moving with some help from the Jones’ (which was so nice!)  …Meanwhile I basically stood around in a funk, just staring at everything that needed to be accomplished, completely and utterly overwhelmed. I would start doing something and stop after a couple of seconds because I got my brain stuck on something else.

I’m really glad we broke up our packing and transport with a decent night’s sleep.   Everything went so quickly!  It’s so nice to have an extra room and extra space! If I didn’t know where to put it, it just went in the guest room and I closed the door! ,,,Out of sight and out of mind. Well, sort-of. Nothing seems to be ‘out of my mind’ for very long. 

…

I have to admit though, despite our very smooth move and speedy set-up, I’m still scared senseless regarding the unknown in the coming months.  This new adventure we’ve signed up for is a bit more than I can handle at the moment. 

This is my last day at Juvenile Court, until…  well, I have absolutely no idea.  It’s unnerving to think that this could be the end of an entire chapter of my career!!! We just finished unpacking and just packed for a week long vacation again last night. Hooray!!!  With that in mind... here's some peppy 'road trip' style music for your listening pleasure...  ;)   Here It Goes Again

...And when I get back, the fun of learning a new job begins and my last paycheck rolls in! (in Oprah’s voice)  It’s BUDGET time!!!  I’m not gonna lie, It’s scary to lose an entire income.  Mind you, we chose this cut… and I’m incredibly grateful for that!  I’ve been praying that God provides opportunities for us to make some additional income so we won’t be quite so strapped to the very tight budget we have set for ourselves.  I’m hoping, and knowing, that things will fall into place just as they are supposed to (at the right time with finances) just as they did with the move and job change. 

This adventure seems a bit more like a marathon at the moment though.  So for now, at least, I still feel like I did this past weekend…  just standing around, staring at stuff, not knowing what to do next.  I feel like my brain can’t catch up this week.

Transitions seem to make me this way. Zombie Lauren. I feel super busy and bored at the exact same time. I feel disconnected from everyone because of moving to the other side of town but I also feel disconnected because I know that I desperately need some space and quiet to settle myself down. The problem is, I’m craving normalcy too, which includes church and socializing and grocery shopping and work… all of which have been ‘off kilter’ in the last couple of weeks and will be for another week or two.

Friends, please pray me through.  I have a terrible tendency to be very irritable when new things are happening. My control-freak nature definitely rears it’s ugly head and my perfectionism won’t allow me to rest my mind at all until everything is in it’s place and planned out.  …Problem!

My heart has been hurting a bit though too because, despite our wonderful extra room, I can’t help but feel as though (or wish- I guess) that we had a special little 4 month old to have in there …and it makes anxious to look at that space sometimes.  It feels empty yet cluttered with junk. I’m really am trying not to dwell on the "maybes" and "what-ifs" but alas-- I can’t get it off my mind.  And I can’t seem to say it without feeling stupid for continuing to have baby on the brain.

I am hopeful, however and I am excited for God to continue planning this adventure of ours.  Who knows, maybe in the next year or so we will be able to fill that ‘empty space’.  ;)  I can still hope, can’t I?!  But for now, a guest room and office would be super nice!  YAY!  Room for visitors!  I’m so excited!

I’m so grateful for everyone who’s been so supportive and helpful and given of their time and energy and money to help us get moved and settled in.  I can’t imagine trying to do it alone. Thank you so much!  I love you and am so grateful for you!  …and I’m so excited about what this new chapter could mean for us!

Please don’t be offended if I don’t take you up on your lovely offers to help at the moment. Frankly I don’t even know where to begin, really, but I’m hoping to have a better idea of what we need and of my schedule in the next couple of weeks. 

<3 Thanks for checking in on us,

Love, 
Lauren 

Matthew 21:21

And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith, and do not doubt, you shall not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it shall happen.